Saturday 21 November 2015

#MadeOfGrit and #MadeOfGreat

What would you do if you were married against your will with a person you didn't even know? What if you were asked for a dowry each day? What if you were criticized for your skin color or for gaining weight post pregnancy? What if you were tortured into killing your own child for it being a girl? What if there were attempts to kill you? What if you were uneducated and unarmed? I despite of studying to get a PhD degree would shudder at the thought, of a life like that and in some weak moment might run away from it, find some work to feed my children and leave a meager life. However an uneducated woman in a small town of Gujarat Shantaben Patel (name changed), did better. She today has founded a "mahila gruh udyog" (women's house based employment scheme) that supports multiple women like her. This is only possible when you face it all and despite of your circumstances fight for you are #MadeOfGreat.

Despite of ministers saying it out and loud women have never been equal in a society, the very mark of it was Shantaben's education, when she was forbidden to go to school beyond standard five, as the school in her village had only that much. It was not unheard of and most girls in her village didn't study much and were taught to do household chores, assisting their mothers early on for a career as a wife. Shanta didn't understand the impact of it then as she does now and stresses upon education of all women joining her and more on their children's. Shantaben married the man her father chose, the amount of dowry was decided and the man married all her and the things that she got from her parent's home. Not that it was for her to relish the joy's of the comforts being bestowed upon by her father. Her husband had no connect with her and did what his mother told him to. Shantaben saw many village girls having the same fate, so she accepted it all. She would wake up before dawn and do all the washing, cooking, looking after the cows and field work. After a whole day of serving the family, at night it was her duty to satisfy her husbands needs, as was taught to her, as she had witnessed every girl go through. 

She was indifferent to it all and accepted it as routine, the beatings for dowry, the non-stop complaints and the increasing demand for money or commodities from her parents. This continued as Shantaben cried and kept on, till one day when she knew she was pregnant a smile crossed her face. the face of a small child she thought would be something she would look at to cure her miseries. But alas! luck wasn't on her side and she gave birth to a baby girl, whose face her husband refused to see for months on. As if that wasn't enough she began to be ridiculed for post pregnancy weight gain as "fat" and pushed to conceive again and as if it was her wish by which these things operated, it should be a boy. Shantaben submitted herself to this need as well but yet again it was a girl. This time the 'mother-in-law" was determined to kill both the children. One day she beat them all black and blue and went ahead to drown them. That was when Shantaben's inner cool was lost, the mother rose above the obedient girl, the wife and the daughter-in -law she was. She took her children and left. There was no where to go. Her parents would be ashamed for her being discarded from her husband's place. It was then she decided to move to the city. She slept on railway stations and move from house to house demanding some work to be able to feed her children. Nobody came looking for her, not her husband who thought it was a better opportunity and married again for more dowry and a prospective male heir, not her parents who thought their responsibilities ended the day she left their doorstep as a bride.

Shantaben didn't let the emotional trauma affect her, her only concern was her girls should get a better life, education and a stand in society than herself. So she went ahead working from one house to another tirelessly making enough money for their survival and her children's schooling. One day at a place she worked the owner had too many visitors coming, she requested Shantaben to help in the kitchen and she readily obliged. To their utter amazement she could handle it all, the pressure of feeding multiple guests and everybody loved her finger licking delicious food. Her boss, the hostess had thrown the best treat ever and they employed Shantaben to cook for them with a better pay. This was the day Shantaben smiled after years of running away from her house. She now took cooking jobs, something she was extremely fast at and enjoyed thoroughly. Slowly she began making snacks at home in her free time and sold it to the people where she worked, friends of her children at school and her snacks began famous. She was earning well and having saved enough for having seen the dark days alone she decided to do it full time, as she could look after her growing daughters better. Soon party orders came in and many grocers agreed to put her make in their shops for it sold like hot cakes. Shantaben began to get more orders but she took only as many as she could manage. She never let her daughter's help, for her their education was of prime importance, she fought her battle alone. 

It was then when she reflected upon her life and how lucky she was to have survived it all, she thought what was the weapon for uneducated women like her, who suffer brutality each day, not being financially independent. She let the word out that she would take more orders if she would have more support but from women who really needed it to free from the bondage's that gave one only scars. To her surprise, even today women come to her from various corners of the state each with a story more disturbing that the other. Shantaben never say's no to anybody and thanks to her and her foundation "mahila gruh udhyog" no woman has to sleep on road or stations and starve or feel discarded, fee its the end of life only for Shantaben did not just think about herself.

Shantaben also does social work and gives 24*7*365 counselling to women suffering from all kinds of domestic issues. After all this all I can say is if I can be 10% of her even with my fancy degree, I would be someone. She is surely #MadeOfGrit and #MadeOfGreat.

To know more about Tata Motor's #MadeOfGreat initiative log on to: http://madeofgreat.tatamotors.com/

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