Sunday 15 March 2015

#StartANewLife For The One You Created

I am a woman who was brought up like an equal to a son. Luckily as most Gujarati's migrated to a foreign land, so did my parents and so we moved away from an orthodox environment. Both my parents were modern in some respects and therefore our education was in the best possible English school abroad and in those days we studied till we finished our graduation, which was better than for those that stayed here. However marriage in India was never of equals, hence when my father found a doctor in this country, he though what could be better than this for an arts student. I tied the knot, much against my wishes, with my now extremely intelligent husband for his family was good in every manner except for one their 'ideas" were orthodox. They would also stick to them without thinking much. I hadn't faced the full power of it till my daughter was born. They were all educated in Gujarati medium (our mother tongue) and believed education in vernacular language was the best. 

My daughter, the one who looked at me with bright shiny eyes and smile the cutest when she saw me was the dream I couldn't live.  She should be an independent and important individual and make her mark.  She should be the person who lives life on her own terms not dictated by anyone. I had huge plans for her and now it was blocked by a stupid belief. In the past I adjusted to my husband’s family and their ways. I wasn’t very ambitious and succumbed to the law of “the daughter-in-law doesn’t work” but I was bored at home, for before my marriage I had worked for ten years. I had my own set of friends and my life and travel with my group.  I missed that sort of company now. Since I didn’t work I didn’t have many friends and the ones I had were left behind in a different country, which now seemed like a parallel universe.

However now it was enough. The question wasn’t questioning the reasoning or the belief, it was standing up for what was right for my daughters future. The first time I argued my husband thought I wasn’t serious and ignored it mildly with a smile. When I started filling the forms and announced my decision the entire family jumped on to me. It was me against them, one against many. She was after all the daughter of their family and they did think the best for her, but only as per their understanding. In the end after a week’s fighting they told me “if your daughter is spoilt in the foreign culture and doesn’t recognize her roots, you take responsibility”. I was sure she wouldn’t. Today I can proudly say she has been a studious child, and is pursuing her doctorate. She also got me to work, fighting against her grandfather she loves more than her own self and best of this entire blogging thing is her idea. She made me, a no one into a blogger whom people read. She of course is more successful and has recently been written about in India’s top literary bloggers. As far is Gujarati is concerned, she is extremely fond of Gujarati theatre and watches plays regularly and gets them for me too from the internet

 I now have my circle of friends and I teach now. I also got the best teacher award. I dedicated it to her. I don’t believe studying in any medium be it English or vernacular makes you better. It’s just that one should be equal to the world to have s stand and I am happy I put my daughter on the right track by #StartingANewLife for her that led to one for myself


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